Next for Mr. Bourne is the Awards Banquet. Ah, the Awards Banquet. This Cotillion of Testosterone is where we all gather and give out pieces of wood that somehow represent and validate participation in the sport. Just in case the grass stains and emotional scars and angina aren't enough to remind us of the season. And they last just slightly longer than the last ice age, because we talk about EVERY SINGLE KID in more excruciating detail than most eulogies contain. And then we have cake.
About time for the season to die? NOT YET! State Championship games! All FIVE of them.
Ready to call a Code Blue? Is Jason breathing? Of course he is. End of year interview for the paper!
"How do you think the season went, Coach?"
"Oohhhh, that football season. What did I say last year?"
Jason Football Bourne is trapped under a building that is on fire and underwater all at once! Certain death!! Nope. Time for a football clinic!!
Then Spring Practices.
Then Summer Weight Room.
Hark! A new season approaches.
Roll the credits! He made it again. Wow. Unbelievable.
Sometimes I wish we were a little more "Thelma & Louise" and a little less "Jason Bourne" around here. We need to drive the season off a cliff as soon as it is over. Wouldnthtatbefrickinawesomeifitwastrue?