Sunday, September 6, 2009

The "F" Word

And you thought this was a family-friendly site?!


I'm gonna be flinging around the "F" word like crazy in this post. I plan to "F" it up, big time. I may even "F" you! It is going to be one "F"-ing good time, I tell you what!

Here goes.


Yep. That's the "F" word for me and, I assume, for all coaches' wives of any sport.

We don't need superior athletes. Nope.

We don't need a playbook the size of the Hong Kong phone book. Nah.

So how are we going to win?

We are going to conquer the world with "Film." If we don't have "Film" on a team, we need it! It is the only possible way in the universe that we can beat them! We must drive long distances early on Saturday mornings after a crushing defeat or a miraculous win to trade "Film" with the next week's opponent. WE MUST!

And it doesn't matter if it is the last game of the season and we have already seen 19 hours of "Film" on this team. Oh, you didn't know that?!? We STILL need the "Film." NEED it. They might have come up with something NEW in week 10!

And the quality. Oh, this "Film" is of the highest quality. I think NFL Films is in negotiations for this stuff:

And then we take it, like a babe fresh from a womb, and we lay it in a manger (i.e. VCR) and we pay homage to the "Film." Then we start to analyze it. And consider, estimate, evaluate, figure out, hash out, inspect, interpret, investigate, judge, kick around, rehash, scrutinize, and study the "Film."

We pick it apart:

Offense, Defense, Special Teams.
What they do on first down.
What they do on second down.
What they do in third and long yardage situations.
What they do on third and short.
What they do in their shorts.
It is ALL analyzed.

But, alas, since they enemy also has "Film" on us, the playing field is again level.

Kind of like there was no reason to trade "Film" in the first place, huh?


1 comment:

  1. Good Point! But seriously, what would FB coaches/players do if there was not "film". That is a high percentage of time they might do something else!